EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Yes, that is the noise that I just made out of frustration. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm going insane. Now Rich is throwing a fit and says he doesn't want to talk to me for a few days. All I did was ask him who in the FUCK  these girls were that he had added to his friends list on myspace, and he got all defensive and pissed off. Yet, if it was me who had a myspace account and had a ton of guys on my friend list, well believe you me,  I would have some " 'splaining  to do". *As said by Ricky from I Love Lucy.* So anyway, I asked him about it and he was like "GET OFF THE SITE" and I said "Well if you have nothing to hide, why are you getting so upset?" and he just kept telling me to get off. So I finally said to him, "You know, I'm not accusing you of anything, but if you're gonna sit here and tell me not to talk to guys and accuse me of shit I haven't done, don't go off and get mad when I ask you a fucking question. Don't tell me it's disrespectful, and go off and do the same shit, cuz that just makes you a hypocrite." And then he was like "Don't talk to me for a few days, I'm going. BYE." and he hung up in my face.

Look, all I want is to be fucking treated like an equal.

Don't go expecting me to be all about you, if you can't fucking be all about me. It just doesn't work that way. Love has to be a fucking two-way street if you want it to work. As of now, I don't feel like it's that way. You don't know how badly I want this to work. I love him with all my heart. I don't think he realizes how much he hurts me sometimes. And if he does, maybe he just doesn't care. Everything seems to be all about him and what he wants. Well you know what? WHAT ABOUT ME? WHAT ABOUT WHAT I WANT?  Doesn't that matter??? Don't I  fucking matter??? I just want to feel like I am respected. I think I deserve a little bit of fucking respect.

You know what I think it is. I think he has a problem with me being right. I don't think he wants to admit I'm right and he's wrong. I think it really pisses him off that I called him on his behavior. He told me once before, "I want you to speak up for yourself, but if you did it to me I'd probably get mad." What kind of sense does that make?? ALL I WANT IS TO BE RESPECTED! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?!?!

Maybe it is. I don't know.

Rich, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart and soul and that I'm not mad at you. I just want to feel like you respect me. I just want to be treated equally. I want us to talk about this. I just want you to listen...