For this simple reason
I just need to keep you mind
As something larger than life...
Wow. Okay so I REALLY fucked up this time. I don't want to get too into details, but man...
I don't understand what the hell is wrong with me. These insecurities I have about me and Rich's relationship have almost taken over my mind. I don't know where it came from. I don't know why I'm being this way. The only thing I know is that I HATE IT. I've never ever been so scared in my life. It's amazing what insecurities can do to you. I don't know why I let it take over me. It's not that I don't trust Rich, because I do. It's just that...I dunno...all the other relationships I've been in have resulted in me getting cheated on and/or dumped for another girl. I suppose I was scared that it would happen again with Rich. And I love Rich in a way I have never loved anyone else in my life. He means the world to me, and I don't even want to think about how it would feel to find out that he was doing anything behind my back. It would seriously destroy me. So basically I guess the reason I got so overly insecure was because I love Rich in a way that I never thought possible, and I guess I'm scared to death of losing that. Nobody really understands how or why we're together, and some people even have a little bit of a problem with it. But you know what, fuck them. It really doesn't matter what they think. Bottom line: I love Rich. He loves me. Deal with it. Like I have said, go fuck off if you don't like it. Cuz you don't have to. For some reason, it's a big fucking deal to people. I really don't understand why. But eh.
Hrmmm. So I feel like posting this. It's a letter I wrote to Rich, that I intend on sending soon.
To: My dearest Rich
Baby, I just felt like I should let you know just how much you mean to me. I love you more than life. I love you unconditionally, regardless of what happened in the past or what will happen in the future. I will always love you. It seems sorta strange to me still how everything happened between us. Normally I would have been freaked out by it all, but with you it just feels right. The way I feel for you is different from any other way I've ever felt before. I can't really explain it, it just feels different. You've totally changed my outlook on life. I have different goals for myself. I feel a little bit better about myself than I used to. I love you so much and I hope that we're together forever.
You know what really gets me? Instead of people being happy for you, they always wanna bring you down. I think love and being in love is a wonderful thing, regardless of the circumstances. Why do people want to bring it down? It makes no sense. Well I think I'm done for now. Bye bye.